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Math Fun (is not a function...)

This is mainly math fun (puns or jokes) but also apply to engineering, science and similar topics... Enjoy!

An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn't care.

I do not think -- therefore I am not (Descartes?).

A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an engineer.

Classification of mathematical problems as linear and non-linear is like classification of the Universe as nuts and non-nuts (or doughnuts?).

A mathematician and an engineer are on desert island. They find two palm trees with one coconut each. The engineer climbs up one tree, gets the coconut, eats. The mathematician (who likes to have math fun) climbs up the other tree, gets the coconut, climbs the other tree and puts it there. "Now we've reduced it to a problem we know how to solve."

A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on fire. The physicist grabs a bucket and leap towards the sink, filled the bucket with water and puts out the fire. Second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again, the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, got a bucket, hands the bucket to the physicist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one.

Several scientists were all posed the following question: 'What is 2*2?'
The engineer whips out his slider (obviously an old joke) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces '3.99'.
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces 'it lies between 3.98 and 4.02'.
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: 'I don't know what it is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!'.
Logician replies: 'Please define 2 * 2 more precisely' .
The sociologist: 'I don't know, but is was nice talking about it'.
Medical Student: '4'.
All others looking astonished: 'How did you know ??'
Medical Student: 'I memorized it'.

What is the difference between a psychotic, a neurotic and a mathematician? A psychotic believes that 2+2=5. A eurotic knows that 2+2=4, but it kills him. A mathematician simply changes the base.

A student comes to the department with a shiny new cup, the sort of which you get when having won something. He explained:
I won it in the MD Math Contest. They asked what 7 + 7 is. I said 12 and got 3rd place!

Golden rule for math teachers: You must tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, but not necessarily the whole truth.

Some mathematicians become so tense these days that they do not go to sleep during seminars.

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary math, and those who don't.

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Cause 31 oct = 25 dec

The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

The limit as n goes to infinity of sin(x)/n is 6.
Proof: cancel the n in the numerator and denominator.

What does the zero say to the the eight?
'Nice belt!'

How many numerical analysts does it take to replace a lightbulb?
3.9467: (after six iterations and with TolX = 0.001).

How many simulationists does it take to replace a lightbulb?
Infinity: Each one builds a fully validated model, but the light actually never goes on.

How many university lecturers does it take to replace a lightbulb??
Four: One to do it and three to co-author the paper.

Math and alcohol don't mix, so... Please do not drink and derive!

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components.

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