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IT Jokes

Try these IT jokes as a help tool to relax your day.
Share a joke and brighten someone else’s day!

Five reasons to believe computers are female
  • No one but God understands their internal logic (logic?).
  • The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else (kind of hexadecimal, BCD or alike?).
  • The message "Bad command or file name" is as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." (That’s logic!)
  • Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
  • As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

Four reasons to believe computers are male
  • (No way, computers are female...)

Computer Help Desk Silliness (you wanted IT jokes, didn't you?)

So, we all do and say 'strange' things from time to time, and it's only bad luck that these happened to get recorded (so to speak) for posterity...

I know we shouldn't laugh at people who make silly mistakes (did I say so to speak?), but I found these funny and liked to share them.

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or mine?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Monique, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah... Thank you.

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Customer: Houston, I got a huge problem! A friend put a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

Be on the look out for these viruses...

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

TITANIC VIRUS: Your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

How to please your IT Jokes ... ahem! I mean... IT Department…

  • When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
  • Don't write anything down. We can play back the error messages from here.
  • When an IT person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 347 screen saver passwords.
  • When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.
  • When IT support sends you an email with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.
  • When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. After all, there's electronics in it.
  • When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We like good arguments.
  • When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That keeps us motivated.

C'mon guys... We're not that bad to our very dear IT people ... are we?

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